so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
