who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize