I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm both gender and math confused
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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