1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
