My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
