Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were trust falling into bushes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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