Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
