Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
