He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
