Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
