Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
