when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
third nipple confirmed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
