He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
