How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
meet me or not, i'm out of control
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
