I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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