i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
