Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
