They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My life is pants optional.
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