my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize