i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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