Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
