Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
