I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
