When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
