the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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