I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
