After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
