I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
