Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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