Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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