he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
