please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize