She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How's work?
Spinning.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
