Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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