Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
