he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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