Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
