i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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