ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
