You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
