Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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