And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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