Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
