so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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