omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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