Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
