I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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