i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
