For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
