I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
