im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
