I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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