I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
