i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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