I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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