biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
