its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
