was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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