He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize