The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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